A Change In The Wind

No one ever told me being a mom was easy...

And dammit I wish they would have.

No hold up, I know it's not like making cookies easy or walking easy but it's really not as hard as people make it out to be. It's trying, it's painful and sometimes it's damn exhausting but it is not hard. It's rewarding and refreshing to mold a beautiful sponge (aka baby).

Hard would be if I didn't have Chads support, if we didn't have insurance to get to the doctors for all of our worries, if Talon had a horrible problem (or develops one later). But as of right now, I'm the luckiest diva of them all.

I must admit, using the term diva is a self programmed way not to call myself a bitch. And I have always been a bitch , and self-absorbed, spoiled, "If my ship is sinking, consider it abandoned", first class priorty mail flate rate bitch. My heart never grew, not really. It prioritized. One friend took the place of another friend because I loved myself so much, I didn't believe my heart had room to stretch.

Then Talon came along,

my heart streched around the Earth. That one feeling is the amazing feeling. To literally feel your heart not expand, nor swell. Not to get caught in your throat like it did when you had that first kiss with the lover you are with. But to literally grow ala Grinch style. I can only imagine what having the next three kids we are planning on will be like, and how much more heart my body can contain.

Sweet Dreams
-Jamie