I made this blog so I can document the trials of being a first time mom. I promised myself I would write in it everyday when Talon went down.... And that brings us up to date as of two days ago.
It just figures that when I decide to do a blog, Chad and I have a row. He graciously took the baby and let me sleep in. Fast forward 5 hours after he has gotten a nap in and I took over teething/screaming Talon duty and you have Chad on the computer bouncing Tally on his knee and me making sandwhiches for lunch. Enter Talon screaming from stage Left.
All I said was, "Do you want me to bounce him in the kitchen?"
...*ATOM BOMB EXPLOSION*
Chad: "I can fucking bounce him honey, goddammit."
Me: *cry tears in his sandwhich, after I gave him the last two slices and I took the butts because he had to go to work in 30 minutes*
His apology is then somethig like he feels I was undermineing him because he was already bouncing him and that I was already doing enough also that I was insuinuating that he wasn't doing his job as a papa.
Pissed me off!
We strive for equal parenting, really, we do. So how do I explain the mom superpowers? I can hear him breathe and sigh, (not including the 10 times I run into the room only to have him soundly asleepy, I'm counting the 1 time when he is stirring). That I have diaper-ray vision and can change a diaper faster than a speeding bullet, but not miss his speeding bullets. Hey, he is son of super parents.
How do I explain to Chad that he is dead wrong in this argument and I don't deserve an apology but groveling. I understand that he is tired, but if this is what happens for fucks sakes, you sleep in and I'll take the baby from now on. At least I'm only a mindless zombie on 4 hours of sleep, not an asshole.
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So, you are saying that you are pissed at him because he was (in a way) questioning your special mommy powers and you feel that you are owed big apologies.
ReplyDeleteAnd the whole thing started because you (in a way) questioned his special daddy powers... ? and how is that different? Really?
You were making sandwiches (using both hands) and he was sitting with Talon. If the situation was reversed (you with Talon and he in the kitchen) would you think it an odd request? I think I would.
I can understand being miffed about the tone... but I also would like to offer an analogy... Someone is dealing with a tool they know how to use, and it's being a little more difficult than they would like. Someone else watches and asks "Can I help you with that?" - personally, I tend to interpret that as condescending and my reaction tends to be sharp. Not that it should be... but it is.
Not that I'm sayin'... but, yea... I'm sayin'...
You are Loved!
I've had similar banters with my husband over baby care and super mom powers. Basically, you're both new parents and you're sleep deprived and you don't have a lot of free time, so you snap at each other. Totally normal.
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